don't you think i know who i am // isabella

[NIALL ANDREW GATSBY]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 505px; -moz-border-radius: 0 185 185 0px;background-color:#09281d;] I could learn to pity fools. ---------------------------------------- As I'm the worst of all and I can't stop feeling sorry for myself -------- He'd be lying if he said he didn't appreciate the fact that for a few hours every Sunday George hung out with Isabella. He'd also be lying if he said he didn't love how happy she was afterwards and how much she talked and talked and how much she seemed to enjoy Isabella's company. However, he would not be lying if he said he wasn't fond of Isabella at all. Yes, he appreciate the fact that Georgiana had someone to look up to and someone who was a positive influence but he did not appreciate her vocalizing how much she disapproved of him, his habits, lifestyle and general self. He didn't go around telling her how to live her life, so why did she do it to him? "What are you and Isabella doin' today?"He asked, looking back at the seven year old hanging off his back, green eyes wide with excitement. She shrugged, resting her chin on his shoulder. "I dunno, I hope we can get some ice cream though! She took me to this really cool ice cream....no, frozen yogurt place and you can put anything on top of whatever frozen yogurt you choose!" she informed him with a gap toothed grin, one of her baby teeth had fallen out the night before and now one of her front teeth was missing. "Is that so? Sounds fantastic!"he replied, to which she enthusiastically agreed to. The pair talked back and forth for the rest of their lengthy walk to the park where they'd be meeting up with Isabella. It was their mothers idea that Georgiana join the big brothers and sisters group, and Niall had to give it to her, it was a good idea. George had been a much happier girl lately, with all that shit that was going on. Her deadbeat father, sick mother and immature, unreliable older brother. Niall really did try for George, he really did, but that didn't mean he always did what he wanted to do or did things well. George was the apple of Niall's eye and he'd do any and everything for her, if he could...he just had a lot of chaos to get out of his system and growing up to do before he could ever be the perfect guardian. And that destination was, unfortunately, a long ways away. He was lucky, at least, the George was a smart girl and had grasped, as much as any seven year old could, that things weren't as great as they could be or that he wanted to be. He was also lucky that she was, for the most part, quiet and agreeable. Although, she could be quite the little nightmare sometimes, but what kid couldn't? A high pitched laugh escaped the young girl as Niall spun around before letting her off his back, falling next to her on an old wooden park bench. "Do you think we can have pasta for dinner tonight, Niall?"she asked, looking up at him, swinging her little feet back and forth. "Definitely," he promised, knowing it was one he could keep, and he kissed the top of her head. They both settled into silence, watching all the children and families running and laughing and playing in the park.

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[ISABELLA MARIANA DIAS]

its not always rainbows and butterfliesits compromise that moves us along - - - - -

Isabella did a lot of things with her time that could be considered rewarding but every Sunday with Gerogie was definitely at the top of her list. The young girl was such a bright light in Isabella’s life and seeing her smile, hearing that musical laughter was an incredible thing. She did what she could to make sure that smile stayed on Georgina’s face. That was what the program was all about, making the children happy and giving them a positive role model to learn from. Isabella knew that she had her downfalls just like any other person. She could be pretty vicious when it was called out in her and though she wasn’t proud of it Isabella had been a bit of a mean girl in the past and to certain people, recently. Niall occasionally got a taste of that himself. Seeing that Georgina looked up to Niall too and knowing that he was a terrible role model got under her skin. That was a place that you never wanted to be.

Having said that she would meet the pair at the park Isabella wasn’t sure what the plans for the rest of the day would be. Isabella didn’t much care either even if it meant trying to play nice with Niall for his sister’s sake. It was grating on the nerves but Isabella cared about Georgie and so put up with the other influence in her life. It was still cold in Hadley but at least it had warmed up enough so you wouldn’t get frostbite just stepping outside. One thing that she did admire about Niall was the way that he treated Georgina most of the time. Arriving at the park she hung back watching the pair interact for a few moments. It was sweet. If only Niall could keep that in mind any other time rather than tossing back a bottle and getting drunk like some kind of degenerate.

That affection that he had for his little sister right in that moment, she couldn’t fathom why he couldn’t see that whatever drove him to drink he had something great right in front of him to stay sober for. Expressing these things to him never seemed to sink in but for Georgina’s sake Isabella wouldn’t give up on Niall because she wouldn’t give up on making the girl happy. Keeping her footsteps light Isabella snuck up behind the pair on the bench popping up last second with a playful, boo to excite giggles from Georgina, her fingers attacking the little girl’s sides. Her smile was broad enjoying the squirming from Georgina as she laughed high pitched trying to get away but at the same time liking the attention so that effort wasn’t very hard.

”Issy! Stop it!” The desperate gasps for air were enough to tell her to relent and when she did a huge sigh of relief came from Georgie, that smile vibrant on her lips. Isabella came around the edge and took a seat next to Georgina only to be smothered in a hug that she quickly returned. ”Hey kiddo. “ Giving the girl a tight squeeze her gaze moved over to Niall offering a small smile to him. ”Hello Niall. Are you joining us for the day?” The thought wasn’t the most appealing but Niall didn’t seem to be too inclined to drink when Isabella was around, maybe because she had a tendency to snatch it away from him and put herself in his business. She had heard of minding her own but she also wasn’t one to idly stand by and let someone act like a fool in front of a child.

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[NIALL ANDREW GATSBY]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 505px; -moz-border-radius: 0 185 185 0px;background-color:#09281d;] I could learn to pity fools. ---------------------------------------- As I'm the worst of all and I can't stop feeling sorry for myself -------- It wasn't so much that he was a "terrible" role model, he just wasn't a good one and those were two completely different things. In Niall's eyes, at least. He didn't like not being the most wonderful, supreme big brother towards Georgiana. It wasn't like he didn't want to be a cookie cutter, all American guy for her to look up to that wore varsity jackets that hung out with homeless people on the weekend...he just wasn't entirely ready, mentally or emotionally, to completely devote himself to being a good person. It took a lot, for him at least, to ignore his selfish desires. It wasn't his fault his ID out sized his Super Ego....or maybe it was. Regardless, where he was in his life, Niall wasn't ready. He hoped he would be one day, and he hoped he didn't ruin all chances with George by then. The fact of the matter was, however, was that he still tried despite his sometimes debilitating faults. Yes, he liked binge drinking on the weekends....and sometimes on Wednesday nights because who liked a fucking Wednesday, seriously? He wasn't totally a drunk but he wasn't sober either. Niall was a lot of in betweens but rarely made a move towards anyone extreme. And depending on who was asked, that was a good thing. When Niall heard Georgie's giggles, his gaze was torn away from some bickering siblings across the yard, and turned to his baby sister and her 'big sister'. Oh, Isabella...what a lovely face with such an irritating voice and general attitude. What place did she have to judge him, huh? She barely knew him, really. Okay, she did care about George so she had some place...but not all! She was just some goody volunteer, he was her big brother, bound by blood. "Hello, Isabella,"he greeted her with enough kindness as he could muster. It wasn't enough to fool her but it was enough to fool the little blonde at his side. George's eyes lit up at the request, looking to her big brother who that 'look' of hers. "Oh please, oh please!"she begged, hugging his arm and resting her little nose against his shoulder. "I dunno, George, I do have-" "Only for a little bit? Stay with us at the park! And than we can get ice cream and than you can go do your stuff, okay?" The little girl was about as intimidating as a codfish and, yet, Niall crumbled. Who would say no to ice cream, especially if Isabella was buying? Georgie looked to Isabella with a grin, before deciding now was the appropriate time to run and play in the playground. It wouldn't be long before she was screaming for one of them to push her on the swings. Niall groaned, hoping she'd of dragged the brunette kraken off with her. "So, Isabella, how are you?"his voice was mockingly sweet, and it was clear as day that he couldn't give two shits how she was but seeing as George had eyes, he at least had to look like he was enjoying himself, right? Right.

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[ISABELLA MARIANA DIAS]

its not always rainbows and butterfliesits compromise that moves us along - - - - -

It was strange how someone s small could be as intimidating as the young girl truly was. For Isabella it wasn't for any reason other than the pure and simple fact that seeing Georgina disappointed was a terrible feat. She couldn't do it and it seemed as though Niall was just as hopeless as she to his little sister's charm. Knowing full well that Niall didn't particularly like her and the feeling was a mutual one, she imagined that the last thing he wanted to do was spend the day with them. Isabella wasn't chomping at the bits to make it a trio today but she looked beyond her own wants to what Georgie would prefer. Maybe Niall would be internally cursing her for bringing it up at all but it wasn't about him nor was it about her and that was the way that things were going to stay. The perspective here was to give Georgina the best possible day that she could and so be it if that included Niall.

Keeping the cordial smile on her lips, something practiced from years of social encounters with some of the world's elite whom, admittedly, Isabella didn't always care for either with their sneaky whoring ways being far more filthy than anyone could have ever imagined with their twisted habits done for the mere sake of, 'because they could get away with it', Niall was no problem for her to treat with kindness. What was more was that it didn't have to necessarily fake it either. She merely had to focus on whatever positive traits Niall might possess and put her personal feelings toward his drunkard behavior off to the side. That wouldn't be a problem either as long as he behaved himself. So, when she smiled at him, it was a genuine act.

Georgina's joy over his agreement had her hands coming together in a single clap, the reaction over her brother staying seeming to be contagious and seep into Isabella's own view. No, she still didn't like him but at the moment she liked that whatever plans he might have had would be put off to spend time with his sister even if, by extension it meant spending time with someone that he hated too. Today being all about Georgina and the invitation being extended, she would be the one paying for whatever all they ended up doing today. It was the least she could do for the trouble- the burden maybe- of being around her. Isabella wanted to make it as painless as possible, for Georgina's sake, but she wouldn't make any promises not even to herself.

As the young girl went off to play leaving them to themselves there was still a noticeable tension between them that the pair could feel but perhaps wouldn't be noted by Georgina and that was what really mattered. Looking over at him her lips quirked up into an amused grin. "I appreciate your efforts, Niall but it's quite alright. You don't have to burden yourself with the effort when Georgina isn't around to hear you." She doubted that he really cared how she was but the pleasantry was still taken in kindness. It was probably best to keep the conversation on his sister otherwise risk the conversation turning into something that neither one of them wanted. "There is a softball league for young girls coming up. I thought it might be something that Georgina could be interested in. I wanted to clear it with you before I even brought it up to her though." It was a matter of respect. Besides that it would require a certain dedication from Niall. Either making sure she got to and from her practices and games or making sure there were arrangements for a car pool- at least to start.

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[NIALL ANDREW GATSBY]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 505px; -moz-border-radius: 0 185 185 0px;background-color:#09281d;] I could learn to pity fools. ---------------------------------------- As I'm the worst of all and I can't stop feeling sorry for myself -------- "She can't hear me, but she can see me." George wasn't stupid, she had the smallest inkling that Niall wasn't entirely fond of Isabella but she was just a child and it was only a fleeting thought. Niall knew George frequently looked to them while she ran around the playground with the other children, and it was better to look like he was having an alright time than to look miserable. Niall let out a long sigh, turning his eyes onto the playground to watch George propel herself across the monkey bars. The sight of her, blonde hair flying when she jumped down in the sand, made him smile. "Softball?"he looked at Isabella, raising an eyebrow carefully. Niall was surprised when he began to consider it. He knew Georgie would probably like it. She was an active little girl with a knack for making friends and it would get her out of the house multiple times a week..."How much would it cost?" As much as he did like the idea, his life and Georgie's life revolved around the age old question: Could it be afforded? For the most part, Niall was the primary income in their home. Their mother's monthly cheque covered basic needs, food, gas for the car, cable....but a majority of other things were usually supplied by Niall and his pay cheques were usually small. If the softball league was a reasonable price, than he'd happily put Georgie in it but if they weren't.... He also knew that it meant he'd be going to the games, surrounded by happy housewives in track suits and supportive Dad's in baseball caps. Did he really want to spend one night a week surrounded by loud, screaming, happy go lucky people? Not entirely but if it would make George happy, than he would. Well, he hoped he would go to each game but everyone in a ten mile radius knew that he wouldn't. He would try and that was better than nothing.

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[ISABELLA MARIANA DIAS]

its not always rainbows and butterfliesits compromise that moves us along - - - - -

That had been her point. They could smile like they were best of friends and give off the illusion that they were getting along but she didn’t think it was necessary for him to go about the added effort of actually saying anything nice to her. This wasn’t Junior League where you had to paint on that fake smile around someone that you hated and talk to them as though they had your attention or respect doing your best not to slip in those backhanded compliments and subtle insults when impulse couldn’t be controlled. High society could be just as vicious as gangland streets, just in a mental effect rather than a physical danger. She was just as guilty of it as any other woman. Isabella had no delusions about her superiority there. Anyone that said they took the high road at all times wasn’t someone that she believed. It was merely human nature to react badly on occasion if not often.

With Niall it wasn’t like at the Country Club or any of the haughty tooty places that Isabella could be found in. He was a bit older so should have had that distinguished sense about him and he was part of the school’s staff so she should have held respect toward him but it was sullied by his behavior. She didn’t have any right to judge him but that wasn’t how things worked out. People were never unbiased. Their own beliefs would always get in the way of how they viewed others. If the context were different she might not have judged him so harshly. Niall was a young guy and should have been free to do as he pleased and enjoy those years of reckless youth while he could. However, with his little sister counting on him and the responsibility there she thought he should act beyond his age. That might not have been fair but that was the way that it was. Isabella wanted to hold him higher than maybe she should have been for Georgina’s sake.

Since the league was ran through the Community Center it was cheaper than it would have been if it were done through anything else. Given what all it included it was a pretty reasonable price. However, Isabella didn’t have the same financial burdens that Niall did and had never asked about money around him because that wasn’t her business in the least. ”Fifty dollars. It includes the uniform, trophy that they get at the end of the season, team equipment, and the required insurance on the player.” Their mother would have to sign a liability waver of course and all that just so the league couldn’t get sued for any injury that might occur but that was standard procedure. ”There will be a few away games but the team will ride one of the buses provided by the Center and if they make it to the Championship there will be a fundraiser to raise the entrance fee and everything else that might be needed at the time.”

Come the summer Isabella wouldn’t be around because she would be back home in Brazil and off doing her own thing so she wanted Georgina to have something to do while she was away that would continue being a positive influence. She was going to miss her dearly and as soon as she came back from senior year would be sure to take up the role she had now once again. Georgina also had her cell number so she hoped to be able to keep up to date on the things going on in Georgina’s life. There was one other thing that she had in mind but was wary about talking to Niall about it. Looking down at her lap as she contemplated it, now would have been the best time since Georgina was still off playing. She knew that Niall worked at the grocery store and that wasn’t all that lucrative of a job and since soccer season was over at the school it was the only income that Niall had at the moment.

”There is a job opportunity that I thought you might be interested in knowing about.” Looking back out to Georgina and seeing how good of a time she was having perked up her courage to continue with Niall. ”About an hour from here at Port Huron they will be doing some hiring at the docks. It would be mostly loading and unloading ships, manual labor, but the pay is very good.” It was her father who would be doing the hiring but she wasn’t sure if it was better to tell him or not. Niall was a fit young man though so he would have been perfect for the job. She only hoped that he would be reliable in showing up and not ask too many questions.

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